time away from their kids. I met another who needed to be at the spa to recover from her role as a mother, a wife and her career. Unfortunately, her life only allowed her one night away, when I expect she needed 2 or three nights. I have also encountered many mothers at the spa who are cherishing time with their kids; the greatest joy seems to come when young girls reach an age where they can come to the spa with their mom, and in some cases with their grand mom to share one of the pleasures of being a woman.
For me, (not having been a parent), the dynamics of human-parent-child relationships are one of the most complex and at times puzzling mysteries of life. Years ago, a great friend of mine, while trying to convince me to have children, argued that it is the most selfish thing you can do for yourself. I thought I heard "selfless", but she clarified and told me of the great personal joy she had experienced as a mother. Recently, a dear friend of mine lost her son. Even though I haven't had children of my own, I know that her life has changed forever, and I can't find the words to sooth her pain. My own mother has told me time and again that the worst pain she could imagine would be to lose a child.
This past weekend, I watched the movie We need to talk about Kevin, an exploration of the relationship between a mother and her son, in a case where the son commits an horrific crime. This depicts the loss of a child from an often unexplored angle. So cherish your children, but take the time you need for yourself to be the parent that they need you to be. And I suppose, not having one child myself, I would have to say that if you do lose one, consider the great gift of the time you had, and take care of the ones you have left. Life is so short.