Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Massie comments on Christmas

I have a pretty good life, so I really shouldn't complain, but I really don't think this picture of me is very flattering. My "Christmas outfit" was quite tight, with my winter coat and all, but it didn't cost me a nickel so, I guess beggars can't be choosers. Tell me honestly - do you like this look on me? Does it make my legs look fat? You would tell me wouldn't you? There's been a fair bit of travelling for us these past few days - I'm not really sure what all the commotion is about, but it's been a nice break from my regular routine. Let's see - things started to be a little strange about 3 or 4 days ago - honestly, I sometimes lose track of time. Jim and I went into the office as usual. My bench seat in the truck was a little crowded with parcels so I was a little cramped, but no matter, it's only a 3 minute ride. Jim brought all these parcels into his office and started this mad frenzy of carefully wrapping each one in paper - not sure what that's all about - they looked fine to me without the paper. I munched on a couple of biscuits, had a sip of water - I really wish he would change it more often, but I can't say much, especially when he catches me drinking water out of the toilet, but at least it's fresh. I wandered downstairs to see Russet - she's usually good for a treat. When all the wrapping was done, Jim bundled everything back in the car and we headed into town again. I'm assuming he did some more shopping because he came back about an hour later and crowded me even more. I can't imagine what's going on. When we got home my friend Ozzy was at the house. I don't remember inviting him over, but what the heck - he's good company, except when his stomach gets upset from eating my food and he passes some very unpleasant gases. We hung out for a while and then Jim took me for a car ride to Matt and Sarah's house. Courtney was there - I'm not crazy about her - she's a bit of a whiner and not much fun - she must be about a hundred years old. The humans had dinner - I think it was lamb - I got some leftovers, but I really don't chew my food well enough to know what it is I'm eating, but it was definitely meat. The next day we all piled in the truck again, more parcels crowding my space and took a long drive. I had to stay in the car, while Jim and Dave went inside for what seemed like hours. Jim came out and took me on a walk. I have no idea where we were, but there were lots of great smells around. I got kind of carried away sniffing and peeing on every second snowbank, but what the heck - I had been left in the truck for quite a long time. We finally left, Jim and Dave got in the truck smelling like shellfish and pasta. I think I picked up the scent of another dog on Jim's leg - but I'm not really sure - I was too tired to care. Then yesterday morning there were a few parcels opened at our house. Jim got a new hoodie and some new jeans. Dave got some work boots (not sure what he's going to do with them), and a nice looking winter jacket. There were a few books, some bottles, gloves, and chocolate, which I love, although I always feel as though I shouldn't eat too much of it. That's when this lovely Christmas outfit of mine made it's auspicious debut. Jim and Dave left in a terrible hurry, forgetting to take me with them. I'm not sure where they were but they came home about an hour later smelling like other people and incense looking holier than holy. Later that day we loaded up the truck with more parcels and off we went on another long truck ride. This time I got to go in to the party. I met this other dog there named Gus - he was pretty hot. Something about him really turned me on - I just couldn't keep my paws off him. Everybody kept telling me to behave, but I just couldn't help myself. The humans helped themselves to huge plates of food, while Gus and I politely looked on. I used my best sad eyes to score a few pieces of white meat - I think it was turkey, and a nice chunk of what looked like ham. I also got to lick some gravy off a few plates - big deal. After a few hours of chit chat we all piled back into the truck, now finally emptied of parcels and headed home. Today things seem to have returned to normal; we're back in the office and I'm just about to lay down for a nap.

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